its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You are the jesus of drinking
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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