I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
