how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
