Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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