I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize