bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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