I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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