i think my tv is drunk
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
