i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
