i barfeds in our rink
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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