just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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