How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
