I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
