what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
