I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm both gender and math confused
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
