so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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