wrigley field is MILF paradise
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize