mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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