Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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