Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
