idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
