i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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