just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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