I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
