I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
