People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
