if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
