her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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