im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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