I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
