This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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