It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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