He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
