i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
