Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
