Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
