I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
