I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
