Already got asked if we're dating
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
