he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
now i know why i became what i already was.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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