your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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