frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
