just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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