I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
