some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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