last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
