Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(224): View more from Illinois

Awesome. Ask her out.

(815): View more from Illinois

Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?

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(303): View more from Colorado

you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.

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(425): View more from Washington

Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.

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(425): View more from Washington

Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.

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