i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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