Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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