Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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