hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Are we still banned from the library?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
