Me too!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
