Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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