At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
