Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
