some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
