i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
