at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
