**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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