I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
