Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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