Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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