operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
