im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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