im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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