3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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