Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
