bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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