I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
