The maid of honor just puked.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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