you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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