OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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