It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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