puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
