The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
