So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
