Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize