Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
