she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
