Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i wish my penis had a tongue
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You made out with two different species that night
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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