at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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