I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
