Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
