Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Quick, to the slutcave!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
