I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize