I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I want her autograph on my taint
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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